Archive for December, 2008

Pouring rain and trapped by flooding into the one-room studio I am living in (or out of, if you prefer), I decided to quit playing video games and spin some tunes surrounded by three wet cats who decided to use my bed as a roost. I loaded up every DJ exclusive mix I could find because I was too lazy to go through my folders while the rain was beating on the roof. I also was influenced by going to my man T-Boz‘s birthday bash last Friday where our homegirl Aida brought a big-ass LL Cool J style boombox and her CD collection and proceeded to rock the hizouse with some real old school jams. Here are the results.

Opening sample is from Fast Times at Ridgemont High:

Brad Hamilton: Hey! You guys had shirts on when you came in here!

Jeff Spicoli: Well, something happened to ’em, man. Hahaha!

Brad Hamilton: C’mon Spicoli, just put the shirts back on. You see that sign?

Jeff Spicoli: No shirt, no shoes…

Jeff and Stoner Buds: No dice! Ohhhh.

Brad Hamilton: Right. Learn it. Know it. Live it.

Jeff Spicoli: Whoa!

right-click to download

TRACKLISTING:

  1. Stevie Wonder – Superstition (Ultimix)
  2. Boogie Boys – A Fly Girl (Original Mix)
  3. George Michael – I Want Your Sex (Ultimix)
  4. Madonna – Justify My Love (Ultimix)
  5. Ace of Base – The Sign (Ultimix)
  6. Arrested Development – Tennessee (Funkymix)
  7. Ice Cube – You Can Do It (Wicked Mix)
  8. Cyndi Lauper – All Through the Night (Ultimix)
  9. Zhane – Hey Mr DJ (Wicked Mix)
  10. Bee Gees – Stayin’ Alive (Teddybears Remix)
  11. Wreckx N Effect – Rump Shaker (Ultimix)
  12. Eric B and Rakim – I Know You Got Soul (Funkymix)
  13. John Mellencamp – Jack and Diane (Full Tilt Remix)
  14. Uncle Kracker – Follow Me (Ultimix)
  15. Digital Underground – Humpty Dance (Ultimix)
  16. MC Lyte – Cold Rock a Party (Ultimix)
  17. House of Pain – Jump Around (Ultimix)
  18. Marcia Griffiths – Electric Slide (Ultimix)
  19. Wild Cherry – Play That Funky Music (Ultimix)
  20. Kool and the Gang – Jungle Boogie (Ultimix)
  21. George Clinton – Atomic Dog (Ultimix)
  22. The Commodores – Brick House (Ultimix)
  23. Nu Shooz – Point Of No Return (Ultimix)
  24. Bobby Brown – Humpin Around (Funkymix)
  25. Puff Daddy featuring Mase and Notorious BIG – Mo Money Mo Problem (Supreme Ultimix)
  26. INXS – Need You Tonight (Ultimix)
  27. Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock featuring Omar Chandler – Joy and Pain (Funkymix)
  28. Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock – It Takes Two (Ultimix)
  29. Herbie Hancock – Rock It (Ultimix)
  30. Janet Jackson featuring Heavy D – Alright (Ultimix)
  31. C+C Music Factory featuring Freedom Williams and Martha Wash – Gonna Make You Sweat (Wicked Mix)
  32. Marrs – Pump Up The Volume (Ultimix)
  33. Dave Matthews Band – Ants Marching (Full Tilt Remix)
  34. Sugar Hill Gang – Rapper’s Delight (Funkymix)
  35. Vanilla Ice – Ice Ice Baby (Scratch Ultimix)
  36. Stereo MCs – Elevate Your Mind (Wicked Mix)
  37. Newcleus – Jam On It (Ultimix)
  38. Young MC – Bust a Move (Ultimix)
  39. Rockmaster Scott – The Roof is on Fire (Ultimix)
  40. Chic – Le Freak (Wicked Mix)
  41. Vanity 6 – Nasty Girls (Wicked Mix)
  42. Holiday (Ultimix DJ Jimbo Remix)

I.
There was a woman
Who I loved with all my heart.
It’s the only way
I know how
to love.
The problem I have
With falling in love
Is that I just keep falling
And falling on through.
It’s a perpetual autumn;
Storming leaves of memories,
Possibilities,
Skeletal trees.
And turning my collar up
Against the cold of this world.
Holding my hands out
To the warmth of the fire
That we had kindled
To keep the darkness at bay.
Every time these things end
I look up from the glow
Of the smolder, the embers,
For the ignition of a smile,
That familiar, beloved synching
Eyes to eyes:
It’s just understood
We’ll revel in the work
To pile on more fuel
From our common woodpile.
But nobody is there
Across the coals from me;
I’ve fallen through
The bottleneck of the hourglass
Along with all these ashes.

II.
Songs get tied
Like complicated knots
Around my feelings;
They remind me of how
I used to think about forever.
Some are bright blossoms
Stolen from yards
On the way to your window
In the middle of the night
To kneel and present you
With a moonlit bouquet,
My Juliet.
Another is the crosshatching
Of spray painted poetry
Hanging in midair
Amongst the tree branches
Between the shadows
Of the stars that were ours;
Witchcraft and wizardry
For an unrelenting passion.
Tapestries of smoke
And of tie-dyed freedom;
Soft paws of haloed kittens,
The chocolate and the champagne
Of the once in a lifetime.
Threads on a magick loom
Synchronicity unparalleled,
Spiderwebs like a hammock,
An embrace as if I was coming home;
Touch burning like the fire of a faerie,
Or the resurrection of the phoenix,
Tracing sigils in the sky,
Re-ignition of belief
Like a firestarter
Or finding a soulmate.
I am haunted
By the breadth of my music
And the depth of my commitment.
The failure
of my eyesight.

III.
The carnage is absolute;
A battlefield strewn with my corpses,
Beer cans and shrieks and cigarette butts,
The best of intentions and
The stench of taking things for granted.
These raw wounds
I have sustained over my lifetime
Of loving how I should have been loved
Never seem to heal;
They just ooze and pulse
Making heartbeats painful;
A crazy accumulation of luggage
Like owning an airport carousel
Of baggage you can’t strip off.
It just grows with you,
Older and less attractive,
Smelling faintly of urine and gangrene
When you can’t bear
To perform the required surgery.
It hurts too much;
I’ll excise memories I want to keep
Along with the decaying flesh.
Retrospective or post-mortem;
It’s still the death of a relationship
That I thought would live forever
As if I had infinite chances,
Infinite quarters.

IV.
I was pinned to a mortarboard
Like a butterfly from a caterpillar,
When I had to eulogize my friend;
My brother, my partner-in-crime,
Someone who understood
By the merit of not being female
The depth of love and an enduring relationship.
I don’t ever want to do that again.
It is the same with love;
I know I can, and it will be better,
But the pain of losing someone to provoke that work
Is too much to accept;
Besides, who the fuck will do that for me?
The answer is as clear as hindsight:
20-20.
I listened to my voice echo hollow through a church
That he wouldn’t have appreciated
To the people who were left behind,
And became even more haunted.
I did my best to represent,
Tell tales, romanticize, believe
And I went home with ashes in my mouth
To cry, cry out, want to evaporate,
Disappear, erase myself from existing
Because I had lost something precious:
A true friend.
It’s a lot like losing your love
Because you have lost a friend.

V.
The light switch is off.
This is the eye of the storm for me.
Now I deal with the still shatter of leaves,
The cold of being alone,
And shoving my hands into the campfire.
There is no warmth.
This destroys the fabric of memories
That took deep commitment
And sweat equity;
Deeper resources than I had without you.
And I see them all retreat,
As if they never existed;
Vanish into the thin, thin air
That I breathe.
Flatlined.

VI.
To move along,
Because there is nothing to see here;
It’s a pretty penance,
My cross to bear;
One that gets weightier
The more years I carry forward,
This boulder I am pushing uphill.
It’s that lost luggage from the carousel;
It’s those old wounds from the battlefield;
It’s those lyrics of happier times
When I would write, compose, sing
Of how I loved being in love
And how I expected forever
But you only had right now to give.

VII.
Perspective is a function of wisdom,
Which is a byproduct of experience,
That is what happens when you live and die
Through these things.
Perhaps they build character;
Actually, they create defense mechanisms
To try to prevent this from happening again
And again.
Expectations collapse
And you lay bricks and mortar in the fortress
That you think will keep you safe
But not sound;
You all are quite persuasive.
Certainly isolated
In the aftermath
Of bequeathing your everything —
Heart, mind, soul —
To your everything
Around that campfire
And you look up and discover
That she is long gone.

Part of the Deceptikons 2006 release Universal as the fourth bonus disc as an MP3, I never got around to creating the tracklisting. Essentially, I was having a conversation with my man Mcginty about the heyday of hip hop in the eighties and decided to rip some battle CDs and go to town. I recorded my first attempt at practicing this set, and lo and behold, it was decent enough for publication. Since I no longer do compilations for the holiday season (though there might be a box set of everything in the future), and I have recently been posting some epic long mixes, I thought I would throw this oldie but goodie out there for your enjoyment.

Like all discussions of music, you can evaluate the tracklisting for what is “really” old skool hip hop, but I tried to keep the flow going throughout the mix, and I can argue the inclusion of more modern tracks for some of the backstory involved. For example, Eve’s Satisfaction was produced by Dr Dre, and has that signature flavor to it. Furthermore, as time goes on, I expect that many of the newer tracks will age gracefully into the annals of signature hip hop as the older representations are still serious booty-shakers when dropped on the dance floor of a crowded and enthusiastic club or house party; gems that shouldn’t be forgotten like Public Enemy, Eazy E, and any track by Sir Mix-a-Lot that ISN’T “Baby Got Back”. In addition, you’ll find some of those one hit wonders that are too easy to forget about, like Paperboy, Father MC, Positive K, Onyx, Pharcyde, and Skee Lo.

KRS-ONE said it best: “Rap is what you do; Hip Hop is what you live”.

right-click to download

TRACKLISTING:

  1. Rachid Taha — Barra Barra (from the Black Hawk Down soundtrack)
  2. Panjabi MC featuring Jay-Z — Beware of the Boys (Funkymix)
  3. Ludacris – Area Codes (DJ A2B Remix)
  4. Paperboy — Ditty (Funkymix)
  5. Onyx — Slam! (Ultimix)
  6. Cypress Hill — Insane in the Brain (Beavis and Butthead Funkymix)
  7. Ice Cube featuring Das Efx — Check Yourself (Radio Remix ‘The Message’)
  8. Das Efx — They Want Efx (Funkymix)
  9. Young MC — Principal’s Office (Impact Remix)*
  10. De La Soul featuring Tribe Called Quest, Jungle Brothers, Monie Love and Queen Latifa — Buddy (12″ Remix)
  11. Doug E. Fresh featuring Slick Rick — The Show (Ultimix)
  12. Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince — Megamix
  13. NWA – Express Yourself (Extended Mix)*
  14. Snoop Dogg featuring Dr Dre and Nate Dogg — The Next Episode (Funkymix)
  15. Snoop Dogg — Gin and Juice (Wicked Mix)
  16. Eazy E — Boyz N Tha Hood (G-Mix)
  17. Digital Underground — Freaks of the Industry (Ultimix)
  18. Sir Mix-a-Lot — Posse on Broadway (The Godzilla Mix)*
  19. Run DMC — Megamix
  20. Black Sheep — The Choice is Yours (Funkymix)
  21. Beastie Boys — Shake Your Rump / Hey Ladies (Funkymix)
  22. Positive K — I Got a Man (Ultimix)
  23. Public Enemy — Night of the Living Bassheads (Anti-High Blood Pressure Encounter Mix)*
  24. Missy Elliott featuring 50 Cent — Work It (Remix)
  25. Skee Lo — I Wish (Funkymix)
  26. Naughty by Nature featuring Zhane — Jamboree (DJeez Club Mix)
  27. PM Dawn — Set Adrift on Memory Bliss (Richie’s Street Groove)*
  28. Nas — Made You Look (Original Mix)
  29. Busta Rhymes featuring Sean Paul and Spliff Star — Make it Clap (Remix)
  30. Snow — Informer (Ultimix)
  31. Ja Rule featuring Ashante — Always on Time (Funkymix)
  32. Fat Joe featuring Ashante and DMX — What’s Luv? (Funkymix)
  33. Big Pun — Still Not a Player (Original Mix)
  34. Eve — Satisfaction (Funkymix)
  35. Pharcyde — Passin’ Me By (Funkymix)
  36. Afroman — Because I Got High (Funkymix)
  37. Styles P — I Get High (Original Mix)
  38. Chingy featuring Ludacris and Snoop Dogg — Holidae Inn (Funkymix)
  39. Puff Daddy featuring Mase and Notorious BIG — Mo Money, Mo Problems (Supreme Ultimix)
  40. Father MC — I’ll Do 4 U (Ultimix)
  41. De La Soul — Eye Know (Daisy Bass Mix)*
  42. Jungle Brothers — What U Waitin’ 4? (Jungle Fever Mix)*

* Recorded from vinyl especially for this mix.

Clarity and Closure

Posted: December 2, 2008 in Rant, Writing
Tags: , ,

“I don’t think this is working out…I don’t see any future with us.”

This is how this heartbreak goes down: on the phone, during a conversation about something totally unrelated. I heard her go outside, heard her light a smoke, had been hearing all of this for the last six months, but somehow — being a child of the 80s and listening to all of that Depeche Mode and Cure — I didn’t hear this one coming. Damn me for being me: having faith, thinking that love can overcome all, thinking that God has a sick sense of humor and boys don’t cry, believing that patience is appreciated when the vines are withering and it is some sort of Constantine Industrial Light and Magic thing that is going on outside my vision.

I am not known for having good eyesight.

By the time I had gotten back to my laptop to check in on Facebook, her relationship status had changed to “single” and I was left in a “complicated” relationship with no one. Good Lord, is this how we communicate in the 21st century? Hey, we should get together and figure out this divorce stuff, since that is obviously what needs to happen. She is out of town this weekend; she’ll call me next week when she has some free time. Brutal, but probably honest — that factor is always in question now — and I guess I’ll do some more waiting. What’s another week or three on the end of this wreck, anyways? Could we at least get this done by the end of this piss-poor, fucked up year?

I had to wake up my friend Kleptus just to cement the information received on this phone call to the time and date, so I can move forward with clarity and closure. He was wonderful enough to look me in the eye and let me know that limbo is not a place that you can effect change or move forward. I am stunned by this revelation that she is gone, yes, but moreover, I am relieved that this game is over and that I can move on to whatever the future holds for me without having to continue to pretend that there is a chance of her coming back. All that remains is the legal paperwork, the separation of bank accounts and credit debt, and all that other shit that I have done before, and here’s a fuck you and have a nice day.

It’s divorce #2; I have practice.

So it is what it is, horrible delivery and all. Obviously premeditated, just like several events leading up to this: a trip to San Francisco, a talk on the front porch the last night we inhabited Saratoga Street, the lack of communication since we separated. It doesn’t matter now, because it is what it is: annihilation of our relationship, repudiation of the time we spent together, and a new beginning for each of us. There’s a little cleanup to perform for both of us, but then we’ll be moving right along with our separate lives. With clarity and with closure.