Archive for November, 2008

I will admit that I have drowned my sorrows lately; not in alcohol, which is sort of a refreshing change, but in video game addiction. With the launch of the NXE (that’s New Xbox Experience) and the release of several highly anticipated Xbox games, I have guiltily gone on a rampage through several virtual worlds. This has kept me somewhat sane and distracted from becoming a basketcase. 2008 is a banner year for getting blindsided by crazy shit, but hey, what’s a Frogg to do besides bounce?

XBOX 360 DASHBOARD UPDATE

Highly anticipated, Microsoft basically revised the entire Xbox 360 “dashboard” — essentially the operating system for that specific PC. Boasting a much expanded feature set, Wii-style avatars, and a whole host of marketplace options (buy this, rent that, customize your “experience” for “credits” that are the Xbox’s clever way of making you pay money for bits). The upgrade process was relatively painless, taking about 15 minutes to download, restart, install, restart, and then present a shiny new intro video in 1080i on the 32″ flat panel I have it hooked up to. Here are the highlights of the upgrade:

Netflix Movies On Demand:
If you have an Xbox Gold account ($60 / year) and a Netflix account ($120 / year) you can queue up movies that are available for streaming to your PC and they appear as DVD covers in the Netflix section, which you can “cover flow” through, read about, and initiate to stream direct to the 360 and thus to your big screen. At the start of each movie, the OS analyzes your network bandwidth to determine what sort of quality it can successfully send to your Xbox, and then proceeds to buffer and play the movie. If you have enough bandwidth, apparently you can get true hi def, but I have yet to experience that. The Xbox controller allows you to change the resolution (stretch, native, letterbox, etc), play, pause, skip forward or back, and all the stuff you would expect from a DVD player, except that moving around in the movie will require another relatively quick buffering from Netflix as it sends your request back to you. Overall, it is a decent service, even before I tune up the network to provide the bandwidth that I pay through the nose for to Cox, mostly because I am watching crappy movies that only I would enjoy, like Transmorphers, Raptor Island, and Superstarlet AD. For this sort of background, fall-asleep-to-it, type of movie experience, it is perfect. The convenience of no physical media is supreme. The largest problem, which I am certain Netflix is going to fix over time, is the limited amount of material that is available for on demand viewing, and I am rapidly cruising through the available titles that interest me. There is a benefit to this, though, for I am starting to queue up stuff I wouldn’t normally be interested in just because it is available through the Xbox / Netflix connection. The upshot is this: if you have a 360 and a Xbox Gold account already because you game online or whatever, the cheapest Netflix account is well worth it just to add this functionality to your Box. Definitely the most-used feature of the upgrade for me, and probably a harbinger of the future — no late fees, no physical media to return, and if you already have the Xbox for games and whatnot, and can get your network to play nice with the hi def offerings, this could revolutionize how you look at your TV.

Rip Games to Hard Drive:
This is a bittersweet feature that has both pros and cons to it. The pros: not having to hear the DVD rattle around in the notoriously noisy optical drive on the 360, potentially faster loading times (Gears of War 2 reports slight improvements, Grand Theft Auto IV apparently has a significant loading time increase), and — you would think — the convenience of not having to put in the game disc to play. WRONG! The cons: you STILL have to have the disc for the game you want to play in the tray for verification that you own it, and us early adopters of the 360 with the 20GB hard drives (wait, the dashboard upgrade just ate 8GB of said hard drive) are screwed. Installation of GOW2 ate another 7GB of space, so that’s one game per 20GB hard drive…goddammit! And here I thought I could load my three new games on the 360 and haul it around in my Xbox-logoed backpack to friends’ houses to do some co-op. Nope! Furthermore, the hard drive space issue has now come front and center, and Microsoft’s insane prices on official 360 HDs are retardiculous given that they are standard SATAs with a custom firmware. Give me a 1TB add-on drive with the one-time transfer cable for a reasonable price, and I would be happy to buy, even if I have to put the game disc in to play (although they should solve that, too).

New Network Testing Issues:
This is not really a feature; rather, it is an issue that is somewhat reasonable, but really a problem in disguise. The updated Xbox 360 Dashboard now identifies how strict your network is in terms of connecting to the Live service for all these new bells and whistles. The Interwebs are going crazy with people complaining about not being able to connect to online games, poor Internet performance, and other issues because (in my opinion) Microsoft is trying to push Xbox 360 certified router / firewalls. I actually had to set my Xbox to a static IP address, static DNS servers, and get the most awesome Mr Wendle to drive two ports to that static IP to get full, unfettered Xbox Live performance out of my machine. For you techies out there, you need either UPNP wide open so that your router can react appropriately to requests for open ports (scary) or drive the following ports to your Xbox: 88/UDP, 3074 UDP/TCP. At least the new networking tools allow you to determine how your network is seeing your 360; if you run the test (find it under My Xbox–> Network Settings) it will report what your firewall looks like to the 360 service. This is a pain in the ass, but necessary if you want to unlock the full potential of the new NXE update.

I doubt that Microsoft is going to make the new Dashboard optional; if you take a look at what the OS offers, it is full of increased business potential. The timing, right before Xmas season, coupled with the price drops on Xbox 360s, makes for a compelling purchase — but insure you get at least the 60 GB version, not the $199-with-256MB-memory-card sucker punch if you are in the market to buy a system. Microsoft makes no effort to hide the fact that they want to dominate your living room as well as your computers, but overall, the 360 upgrade is a pretty phenomenal upgrade for free, and is a welcome retooling of an existing component in my multimedia rack.

Starry-eyed (surprise) off of the 5 hours of There Are Two Types of Balls I decided to see how many remixed classics from the eighties and early nineties I could string together back-to-back. The results are epic; tracklisting below: 85 tracks, almost six and a half hours of madness. Make it the soundtrack to your weekend.

Opening sample is from Clerks:

Jay: I feel good today Silent Bob. We’re gonna make some money, then you know what we’re gonna do? We’re gonna party, we’re gonna get some pussy and i’ma fuck this bitch and i’ma fuck this bitch….I’LL FUCK ANYTHING THAT MOVES!

Yo, what the fuck are you lookin’ at? I’ll kick your fuckin ass! Shit yeah. Don’t that motherfucker owe me ten bucks? Y’know, fuckin’, tonight we’re gonna rip off this fuckers head, take out his fuckin’ soul. Remind me that if he tries to buy something I’m gonna shit in the motherfuckers’ bag.

Yo what’s up baby? ‘Sup sluts?

Ya know Silent Bob you’re a rude motherfucker, y’know that? Cute as hell. I’d like to go down on you, suck you, line up two more guys and make like a circus seal! Eww you fucking faggot! I hate guys! I LOVE WOMEN!

What do you want Grizzly Adams?

right-click to download

TRACKLISTING:

  1. Art of Noise – Beat Box (Ultimix)
  2. Prince – Pussy Control (Funkymix)
  3. Blondie – Rapture (Ultimix)
  4. Snap! – The Power (Ultimix)
  5. Fine Young Cannibals – She Drives Me Crazy (Ultimix)
  6. M – Pop Muzik (Ultimix)
  7. The Cure – Hot Hot Hot!! (Extended Mix)
  8. Janet Jackson and Herb Alpert – Diamonds (Ultimix)
  9. Vanessa Williams – The Right Stuff (Ultimix)
  10. Pet Shop Boys – West End Girls (Ultimix)
  11. Madonna – Open Your Heart (Extended Version)
  12. Duran Duran – Save a Prayer (Ultimix)
  13. Sheila E – Love Bizarre (Long Mix)
  14. OMD – Secret (12′ mix)
  15. Pebbles – Mercedes Boy (Ultimix)
  16. Aqua – Turn Back Time (Love To Infinity’s Classic Paradise Mix)
  17. Black Box – Everybody Everybody (Ultimix)
  18. New Order – True Faith (Remix)
  19. Cathy Dennis – Touch Me (Club Mix)
  20. Depeche Mode – Happiest Girl (Jack Mix)
  21. Tears for Fears – Mad World (Spiral Tribe Mix)
  22. Frankie Smith – Double Dutch Bus (Powerhouse Mix)
  23. Depeche Mode – Blasphemous Rumours (Secret Mix)
  24. Deep Forest featuring Peter Gabriel – While the Earth Sleeps (Strange Days Extended Mix)
  25. Shannon – Let the Music Play (Omar Santana X-Mix Remix)
  26. Midnight Star – Freak-A-Zoid (Ultimix)
  27. Prince – Raspberry Beret (Remix)
  28. OMD – If You Leave (Digital Remix)
  29. Annie Lennox – Little Bird (House Of Gypsies Remix)
  30. Cyndi Lauper – Hey Now (Girls Just Want to Have Fun)
  31. Cause and Effect – You Think You Know Her (Philanderer’s Mix)
  32. Camouflage – The Great Commandment (Razormaid Mix)
  33. Kon Kan – I Beg Your Pardon (Ultimix)
  34. The Cure – The Caterpillar (Flicker Mix)
  35. Erasure – Rock Me Gently (Club Mix)
  36. Depeche Mode – Behind The Wheel (Razormaid I-18 Mix)
  37. Anything Box – Living in Oblivion (St. John’s Mix)
  38. Annie Lennox – No More ‘I Love You’s’ (Junior’s Club Mix)
  39. Prince – Gett Off (Illicit Vocal Mix)
  40. Peter Gabriel – Sledgehammer (2002 White Label Mix)
  41. Michael Jackson – Don’t Stop ’til You Get Enough (’99 Remix)
  42. Talking Heads – Once in a Lifetime (Extended Club Mix)
  43. George Michael – Father Figure (DJ Buhtl Clubhouse Mix)
  44. The Corrs vs Fleetwood Mac – Dreams (Tee’s Club Mix)
  45. Eddie Grant – Electric Avenue (White Label Mix)
  46. Michael Jackson – Billie Jean (’99 Remix)
  47. Roula – Short Dick Man (Club Mix)
  48. Yaz – Don’t Go (Tee’s Freeze Mix)
  49. Madonna – Into The Groove (Love II Infinity Special Mix)
  50. Depeche Mode – Here is the House (Gabriel and Dresden Bootleg reworked by Megamode)
  51. The Cure – In Between Days (Shiver Mix)
  52. Corey Hart – Sunglasses at Night (White Label Remix)
  53. Eurythmics – Sweet Dreams (Wicked Mix)
  54. Berlin – Sex (I’m a…) (Ventura Club Mix)
  55. Cyndi Lauper – True Colors (Junior Vasquez Pride Mix)
  56. Paul Lekakis – Boom Boom Boom (Ultimix)
  57. Real Life – Send Me An Angel (Remix)
  58. Sarah McLachlan – Possession (Rabbit in the Moon Mix)
  59. Echo and the Bunnymen – Lips Like Sugar (12″ Mix)
  60. Depeche Mode – Get The Balance Right (Yello Mix)
  61. Baltimora – Tarzan Boy (DJ JimmyJam’s 2002 Bootleg Mix)
  62. Prince – When Doves Cry (2001 White Label Mix)
  63. Taco – Puttin’ On The Ritz (DJ JimmyJam’s White Label Club Mix)
  64. Billy Idol – Catch My Fall (Remix Fix)
  65. Erasure – Always (Microbots Trance Dance Mix)
  66. Depeche Mode – People Are People (White Label 12″ Mix)
  67. Latour – People Are Still Having Sex (Thunderpuss Mix)
  68. Madonna – Ray Of Light (Sasha’s Ultra Violet Mix)
  69. Ready for the World – Oh Sheila (Ultimix)
  70. Frente! – Bizarre Love Triangle (Remix)
  71. Kim Wilde – Kids In America 94 (Extension Mix)
  72. U2 – Where the Streets Have No Name (Johnny Vicious Mix)
  73. Alphaville – Forever Young (Techno Remix)
  74. Information Society – What’s On Your Mind? (White Label Mix)
  75. Pat Benatar – We Belong 2000 (White Label Mix)
  76. Irene Cara – Fame (98 White Label Mix)
  77. Madonna – Material Girl (Club 69 Anthem Mix)
  78. Kim Carnes – Betty Davis Eyes (2002 White Label Mix)
  79. Haddaway – What is Love? (Reloaded Club Mix)
  80. Culture Beat – Mr Vain (2003 Club Mix)
  81. Praga Khan – Injected with a Poison (MNO Power Mix)
  82. Rozalla – Everybody’s Free (Richard Humpty Vission’s Plasma Trance Mix)
  83. Depeche Mode – Everything Counts (ATB Mix)
  84. Front 242 – Headhunter (Front Line Assembly Mix)
  85. Nitzer Ebb – Industrial Strength Medley

Something about “being Agile” tends to make people think that productivity magically appears when you install Scrum as if it was some sort of speed boosting software optimization. This is not the case; it takes preparation, dedication to the methodology, and above all, discipline. Daily Scrums are a good case in point; many times I have seen participants show up to this critical forum without being prepared to transfer knowledge. The traditional Daily Scrum asks three questions to try to evoke the necessary intel from the Sprint participants:

  1. What did you accomplish yesterday?
  2. What do you plan on accomplishing today?
  3. Are you impeded?

There are two issues that arise from the Daily Scrum formula that I have encountered: one, the answers to these questions from each Team member don’t always get to the best information that needs to be shared; and two, Team members are not prepared to answer these questions with valuable 411. Both devalue the Scrum, and with a 15 minute timebox, it is critical to impart focused, specific information as fast as is productive to the Team. With this in mind, here are a few suggestions to keep Daily Scrums from becoming rote meetings that developers and other participants show up at, roll their eyes when they’re asked the same old questions, and — as one developer I worked with threatened — produce a simple audio file to play when asked the questions above.

Ask the right questions to get valuable answers:
Every project is different, and the questions asked of the Team should be designed to insure that knowledge is transferring properly between the Team members. This does not mean that you abandon the yesterday / today / blocked formula; rather, it means that the ScrumMaster should know enough about each Team members’ commitments to be able to help them with getting to the good stuff. The key here is to reinforce that the Team succeeds or fails by the estimation, communication, and hard work of the individuals that comprise that Team, as Clinton Keith adroitly notes on his discussion of Daily Scrums. The questions that are asked of the Team are not designed to be a simple formula so that you can repeat the same valueless information; that is why I prefer to use the term “accomplished” rather than “do”; this engages the Team member in a different way — it asks him or her to report to their Team members if they met their commitment from yesterday’s Daily Scrum. Keith makes a good point that the key to the first two questions is commitment: if a Team member commits to finishing feature x and does not, this is an impediment that is telling you a lot about the progress of the Sprint.

Be a Boy or Girl Scout; come prepared to the Daily Scrum:
Because Daily Scrums are usually timeboxed to 15 minutes, a lot of participants think they can just show up and answer the three questions and then get back to work. If this is what is happening in your Daily Scrums, you are in danger of having these crucial meetings become valueless and might as well let people play audio files to report their status. I found quite a bit of value when I insisted that Team members bring the ticket numbers for the Tasks that they were working on from whatever tracking system was in place was enough to make ’em prepare just a little bit before showing up to the Daily Scrum. This also had the side benefit that they would bring a pen and a piece of paper, which would at least have the materials present to make a note in case (shocking!) that something came up in the meeting that they were not expecting, such as “have a conversation with so-and-so immediately after this meeting to help them with impediment z”. Stacia Broderick has a wonderful phrase for a common symptom of Daily Scrum fatigue: DSW or Daily Standup Withdrawal. She prepares herself before each meeting; I don’t see why the same, short, focusing process shouldn’t be encouraged for each participant.

Handle diverging conversations immediately:
As a CSM, I have always found that the most memorable part of teaching Scrum to people is using squeaky toys to prevent Daily Scrums (or other meetings, for that matter) spiraling out of control into technical discussions, impediment removal, or other unfocused diatribes. Scrum is full of animals, starting with Jeff Sutherland’s Pigs and Chickens, but I can still remember the rubber rats from my CSM training with Dan Rawsthorne when he handed them out and thinking “what the hell are these for?” Since then I have used a front desk bell, a squeaky dog bone, and even threatened an air horn with a particularly garrulous group. The squeaky toy almost becomes like the conch shell in Lord of the Flies with some groups; even reaching for the talisman has an instantaneous effect on someone who is off on a soliloquy once they know what it means. This does not mean that you should be a heavy-handed ScrumMaster; on the contrary, it is the sign of a good Daily Scrum when a Team diverges to try to solve a problem. In this case, I take a page from XP and shut it down by providing a concrete way forward, such as “ok, you three obviously need to have an offline discussion about this; how about right after this meeting for 15 minutes and somebody be responsible for communicating the resolution?” This prevents the squeaky toy from becoming something to be feared and restores it to what it is for: focusing the Daily Scrum.

Provide concrete output from the Daily Scrum:
Whether it is on stickies, a quick set of notes, or directly updating the community Scrum Board, make sure that there are tangible results coming out of your Daily Scrums. The most important thing is definitely in the heads of the Team members, but it is highly valuable to have some sort of record of what went on yesterday today. This is a prime way to ask those extra questions suggested at the top of this list if necessary — review what the commitments were from yesterday and insure that each Team member is answering whether or not they accomplished what they set out to get done. These notes also become a key starting point for Sprint Retrospectives, when I have found there is naturally a lot of brain fade after a successful delivery. Like most everything else in Scrum, find what works for you; I have provided concrete output from Daily Scrums a variety of ways, but it is another Scrum operation that can be shifted from person to person, or combined with the Scout rule above — if Team members know that there is concrete output from the Daily Scrum, they are more likely to come prepared. These types of notes, especially in an electronic format such as a shared document or an e-mail update, also provide the added benefit of being able to communicate Sprint status on a daily basis to other interested parties, such as business owners and / or stakeholders, if necessary.

As usual, these are my observations from practicing Scrum at several different organizations, and I would be interested in any feedback about how you focus your Daily Scrums to prevent DSW, insure effective knowledge transfer, and make your Daily Scrums something that people look forward to because they provide help and value to the contribution of the Team to the Sprint.

The popularity of Agile project management has come with a lot of people saying that they “do Scrum” or “we Scrum” or “we be Sprinting” or any other combination of buzzword + us. This is known in the community as doing “Scrum but” because it inherently identifies that agility has not been fully embraced. This leads to three things:

  1. Poor results
  2. Frustration
  3. Anger at Scrum / Agile methodologies

Introducing Agile methodologies into a company is a subject for future blog posts, and won’t be covered here. Suffice it to say that without understanding and embracing, at least for the duration of a medium-sized project, an Agile tech completely, you’re going to be disappointed with the results. “Scrum but” begets butt results — just remember that.

I could go on and on with the metaphors that might explain how doing “Scrum but” is a terrible idea (it’s like thinking one or more tires on a car are optional to go on a road trip; it’s like trying to grill steaks with no propane; it’s like trying to land a job with no resume) — it all rolls up to three issues:

  1. Doing Scrum because it is cool / a buzzword / makes you feel cutting edge
  2. Believing that Scrum is a la carte rather than a whole methodology
  3. Unwillingness to let go of old Waterfall habits

Let’s discuss these three points.

One: Scrum / XP / Lean / Agile may sound cool — and done right, providing clean, measurable results, it is — but that is not the point. The point of Scrum is to force participants to think outside the box and provide continuous feedback on specific deliveries to insure that nobody is working in a vaccuum. The agile part of Scrum is reducing the battleship to a PT boat; it is able to turn on a dime rather than lumber around to a new heading. I believe that some of the attraction of Scrum is due to the flexibility of the methodology; however, when Teams start skipping Scrum Retrospectives because they have to rush to the next Sprint, or the Sprint Stories are “close enough” or “placeholders” or “XP Style” (a note to have a conversation about this later on), or there are other shortcuts taken in the process, you are accumulating Tech Debt which is guaranteed to bite you in the ass like a rogue wave (or a rogue VP). I am not arguing against the coolness of Scrum or any other Agile PM; again, they ARE cool, but it’s not in the name, it’s in the results of using Scrum effectively, and that means the whole enchilada.

Two: Scrum is not a buffet line, where you take a few Sprint sausages, some scrambled egg Stories, and a tall glass of Tasks, passing on the perceived parsley of a complete Planning Scrum and the dubious gridwork of well-formed Retrospective waffles. If you are going to try this approach, you might as well skip the plate while you are at it. There is a reason that CSMs are certified: it’s because Scrum is a methodology, and although Scrum purists will dislike that I point this out, there is a 1-2-3-4 to Scrum. It works best if the tech is embraced fully, even if you don’t understand why right off of the bat. Reusing the food metaphor, eat your veggies; it makes for a properly balanced diet. Try it, you might like it. Three pain points that I have found while implementing Scrum into businesses are the following:

  1. Planning Scrums are not prepared for (Stories ready, Backlog prioritized, etc.)
  2. Sprint Retrospectives are skipped (gotta get going on the next Sprint — no time!)
  3. Daily Scrums are not transferring knowledge properly (usually not asking the right questions)

A list of things to do is not a Backlog; an ad hoc 5 minute “how’d that Sprint go?” is not a Retrospective; “what’d you do yesterday? how bout today? are you blocked?” is not a Daily Scrum. Feel free to try to fool yourself and your organization that this is adding value, but see the first ordered list in this post for the results.

Three: As a veteran PM, I have ridden the inner tube of Waterfall-style project management, and it really isn’t all that bad if you are working for a huge company with lots of specialists and compartments, have all the time in the world to complete a project, and you are employed by the government. Even software development with ever-changing requirements can be successful with the right amount of documentation, change requests, and a battery of people willing to trade speed for bulk; i.e., the battleship. I would, however, like to point out that the dreadnought became extinct in World War II, when the strategic air power of carrier-based fighters and bombers sunk the Yamato in port in ’45. It couldn’t hide from a swarm of agile aircraft. The introduction of Scrum / Agile into a business is always fraught with the dangers of incorporating Waterfall-style PM into the process. “The Tech Spec IS the Backlog” is one I have heard countless times, and this leads to skipping the work of creating the needed pieces to properly Sprint. “These meetings are a waste of time; get back to coding!” is another one, typically from Business Owners who are trying to buffet their way to agility, usually because Waterfall — “we’re in development phase!” — is how they understand the surface of the project and because saying that the company is “Agile” or “does Scrum” is some sort of competitive advantage jargon. One of the reasons that Scrum is flexible is to be able to USE Waterfall-style documents to create solid, prioritized, accurate Backlogs, well-formed, spot-on Stories with full doneness requirements, and to provide developers with all the information that they need to Task out the Sprint to a high degree of initial accuracy, which provides a framework to embrace the inevitable changes that will come down the pipeline.

Overall, Scrum (and other Agile methodologies) suffer from the coolness factor, the buffet line, and the grandfathering-in of Waterfall thinking. Observation of anything along these three lines should be cause to stop, drop, and re-evaluate. Anytime I hear “we do Scrum but…” I always inquire if the organization has done Scrum with no But. That is the only way to understand how the pure methodology works for you, and from that foundation comes tuning and refinement, THROUGH Scrum, not around it.

Everybody knows that the economy sucks; the October Jobs Report is about as dismal as it gets, especially when you shovel into it and understand that:

“Not only did the economy lose a massive 240,000 jobs in the non-farm sector, but the previously reported declines of 159,000 in September and 73,000 in August were revised sharply lower to 284,000 and 127,000 respectively as well. As a result, the economy has now lost a total of 1.2 million jobs since the beginning of the year, with nearly half of those losses occurring in the last three months alone, pointing to an acceleration in the pace of erosion in labor markets.” -Anthony Karydakis, Fortune

Being part of such a massive bunch of horrifying statistic and having no job myself is, actually, quite exhilarating; the big question is how to keep myself from going stir-crazy without an unexpecting company to throw my heart and soul into, day in and day out including weekends and nightmares.

So I have decided to put myself on a writing regimen; I think I’ll do what any Gen-X, social network addicted, thirty-something who used to be an English teacher would do: I’ll WordPress all about it. Instead of trying to come up with some sort of literary masterpiece when I craft this nonsense with an audience of one, I think I will try to write every weekday that I am searching for a new career and try to find the humor and interest in the job of finding a job. I had a recruiter tell me to “enjoy my unemployment; with a resume like that, you won’t be for long”. It is this nugget of wisdom that I’ll try to take to heart as I blog and social network my way to some more pay-to-play project management. See you tomorrow.