Froggacuda's Weblog

The collected works of the Point Loma / Ocean Beach / Mission Hills ska-funk phenomenon known as Monster Zero, active from 1989-1990. Named after Ghidora, the Three Headed Monster, Godzilla’s arch-nemesis, this group is the source of such unforgettable jams as “Camel Jack”, “Crime and Rhyme”, and “Naked Ladies”. In addition to a slew of originals, Monster Zero also kept it real by covering classic ska songs from the likes of Fishbone, The Specials, The English Beat, and Bad Manners.

Monster Zero consisted of:

• Chris McGee: cowbell, lead vocals
• Alex Kohrt: guitar, vocals
• John Roy: saxophones, vocals
• Gino Salerno: drums
• Mike Newman: bass guitar
• Michael Murdoch: keyboards, vocals
• Steve Pratschner: trombone
• Adrianna Lazzarini: tambourine, vocals, sex appeal

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Original Songs:

• Crime and Rhyme – an ode to the Mission Hills Posse  right-click to download
• Camel Jack – this was, I believe, our first original; Chris was so damn good at just freestyling lyrics over whatever idiot jam we were doing that it usually ended up sticking; Pus & Zero Boy and MC Honky give extended kudos to this song on Journey to the Elemental Plane of Funk with “The Further Adventures of Camel Jack”  right-click to download
• Monster Zero – where the beloved phrase “Twice Baked Biscuit” came from; someone needs to make a Wikipedia entry for that slanguage  right-click to download
• Cheeze Whiz – this has also been remade by Alex’s college band The Brothers of Other; the original lyrics to the rap are available in the Poetry archives
• Kmart Funk – somebody remind me of the lyrics to this, it had something to do with buying shoes…this one also resurrected in concept by MC Honky, Pus & Zero Boy on Journey to the Elemental Plane of Funk
• Darkie Love Affair – this has also been covered by one of John Roy’s many other musical dynasties The Unsteady right-click to download
• Ham and Eggs – the title came from a sound on the Yamaha DX27 keyboard we used for tuning the guitars  right-click to download
• Naked Ladies – if you sing it, they will take their clothes off…really!  right-click to download
• I’m Broke – usually the show opener
• Good Man – there is also the 1993 Government Cheeze Remix over on the Pus & Zero Boy compliation called Apes and Froggs right-click to download
• Outa Gitchya – I don’t remember this one, but it is on a setlist I have in Alex’s handwriting
• Walk the Plank – as in, if you don’t skank…

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Here are the two extra tracks from the 30th Anniversary Reissue:

• Good Man (1993 Government Cheeze Remix) featuring MC Honky – there was enough space to add some cracker-rap and a couple vocal effects. Also remastered by Room and Board Recordings.  right-click to download
• Pus + Zer0 B0y – M0nster Zer0 Par0dy – an absolutely silly synthesized megamix of M0nster Zer0 tracks — K-Mart Funk and Walk the Plank are in there, and maybe I’m Broke: possibly the only surviving recording of these tracks.  right-click to download

Here is the entire 30th Anniversary Reissue of M0nster Zer0 – VERSUS: right-click to download.

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The chucklehead rhythm section would also usually bust out with some Yes and Rush covers when the horns and keys were surveying the state of available alcohol.

Cover Songs:

• Big Shot – The English Beat
• Ackee 123 – The English Beat
• Tears of a Clown – The English Beat (actually, the Beat covered Smokey Robinson)
• Ranking Full Stop – The English Beat
• Lip Up Fatty – Bad Manners
• Nite Klub – The Specials
• I Wish I Had a Date – Fishbone
• A Selection – Fishbone
• Ma and Pa – Fishbone
• Cholly – Fishbone
• Ugly – Fishbone
• Party at Ground Zero – Fishbone
• Lyin’ Ass Bitch – Fishbone

MONSTER ZERO (1990)