Archive for the ‘Poetry’ Category

perching like a poet –
I found a table and a bench
tucked away on a second story walkway
of the Arts building
just for me.
a yellow magnesium light
shines down on this paper
turning letters into dancing figures
that say something important to me
so I can pretend I am a poet.
a walk in the dark
took me silent and alone
wandering eccentric between buildings
past fire escapes instead of front doors,
tracing the short cuts college students create
and watching the eucalyptus trees
move in the streetlights that hilight half of their curves,
only the undersides of their leaves.

I smell wet grass and hear the rush of water
in automated sprinkler lines.
I sight along the patterns made
by erroneous pulses of silver
meant for grass or shrub.
they tease soap from the asphault instead.

the lagoon is one big black unmoving body of ink
lthe color of the folds of my cloak;
that’s whipping around my bare legs in the salty wind
from the ocean saying “shush, shush”
to the cry of a single seagull.
it passes near me; I look up,
through misty clouds low enough to
strain through treetops,
at a couple of dim stars
Escher drew for me.

what is left of the world is really not worth living for,
but it is a job, a challenge,
and I like trying to write it all down.
I observe like my predecessors:
civilization working itself into a frenzy
over nothing, there’s no advancement –
just continuing over and over to find new ways
to convince itself that it is working,
that we’re worth it, that we’ll make it.
convincing itself that we’re right.
convincing itself that we’ve done nothing
that we can’t undo
later.

The Memory Tree

Posted: June 14, 1993 in Poetry
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I don’t have very many pictures of my life;
no cute heart frames around me and my brother,
no portraits capturing me with any of my friends
so I can reminisce about them.
nothing but my memory is left
of the times I’ve spent with some of them
whom I remember but have no proof
that I knew them at all
except for a story or two I’ll tell too tall
and sometimes that is enough
when I’m in good form mnemonically
and I can picture my pictures easily
on my eyelids when they’re closed,
when I’m quiet and smiling a little
about some shenanigans with a figure from the past
who’s bigger than Abe Lincoln to me
or George Washington and his cherry tree
because he or she hails from my history.
I’ll remember them all when I have the time
just to stay put and write,
whittling my own likenesses of them out of paper
and colored ink; phrases and expressions
that I stole from each one of them
in order for me to memorize them;
it’s something I’m looking forward to doing later.

A Troll

Posted: June 13, 1993 in Poetry
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he sat under a narrow bridge
and skulked, the fairy-tale Troll.
I was the one who sat under the bridge
and chose not to demand a toll.

I could have asked for the world on a plate
or rich trinkets, various and sundry.
but he was a reclusive faint-hearted Troll
who wished Man good will and went hungry.

Hoping Like You

Posted: June 7, 1993 in Poetry
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oh I hope for a natural disaster, too
just like you, so I can make do
with my own resources
and tame wild horses
to ride past the memories of fossil fuels.
just an earthquake or two
gentle enough to shake apart
the concrete and steel,
to crack the awful ribcage
around the city’s broken heart
barely beating, it can’t support
the far-flung extremities that it can’t feel,
worn roads like nerve systems
that are so slow to report.
sunder it with waves in the earth
and blame it on a poet’s curse.

Black Jack

Posted: June 6, 1993 in Poetry
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I
and when the madness comes
she creeps around the corridors,
pausing to stomp on cats’ tails
pausing to drive in rusty nails
and slam subconscious doors
behind my eyes.

II
it would be easy one day
to fall down and stay,
not moving, wherever I was
and not respond to my rescuers;
to get placed away for refusing to speak
or move or do anything for myself.
so easy and tempting, just for a week.
I’m sure they’d find something to do with me.

III
I GO ON THIS VICIOUS CYCLE:
I love her forever.
Can I trust her?
I can trust her.
Will I love her forever?
I love her forever.
Can I trust her?
I can trust her.
Will I love her forever?
I GO ON THIS VICIOUS CYCLE.

IV
the air was full of birds,
these pigeons and seagullls
that I had disturbed
walking along the beach by myself
wondering if she’s all by herself.
but putting that aside
would we have walked on by
all of this wild-winged fuss
if it wasn’t just me but if it had been us?

V
keep on going until the pen runs out
and finally I might figure it out.
I’m pulling apart flowers for answers
and neither type of petal reassures
me of this thing I’d like to realize
is right or wrong or right before my eyes.
this pile of broken flowers, growing higher
is colored like a cheerful winter fire
but dead without the red that makes it gay
is my heart, ashen cold and worn away.

VI
I’m frozen in the moment
that I’ve jumped from a high place
trying for the water;
it’s not enough to miss the rocks.
frozen
in the
moment.
it is stealing over my face.
look closely. there’s the rocks.

VII
I made it to 21. like blackjack.

VIII
that Catholic skull that I dreamed of
at least once a year since I was seven or eight
was me, laughing at least once a year
that I was still stupidly here.

IX
the idea of breaking
so many hearts,
of making the many upset,
of shaking alll of these folks;
it seems like the ultimate cannonball
in the jacuzzi of life.

Cozy Up the Rooms

Posted: June 6, 1993 in Poetry
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I thought this building was so strong
but I don’t have enough furniture
to cozy up the rooms.
Soaring to the sky, perhaps;
a beautiful glass and steel structure
but these changes are not a home yet.

Now I’m desperately searching for
cheap end tables and green-glass bowls,
wrought iron chandeliers and wall sconces for candles,
oriental throw rugs and complete boardgames.

Violets

Posted: June 5, 1993 in Poetry
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I found the violets
I want to weave in your hair
so that they knock it aside
to dangle in your eyes –
a halo of purple and ivy;
a halo to see for the halo I know
is over your brow.

Untitled Poem #164

Posted: June 4, 1993 in Poetry
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all I think of
in my most precious dreams
is that dangerous dolphin,
you.
flying golden dragon,
delicate butterfly,
wreaths of suntouched hair,
I know you
in each disguise.
you are dessert.

The Prince of Spring

Posted: May 31, 1993 in Poetry
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for all of my twenty years
I have had one healthy fear:
that Love will find me cold and dry
for being a Prince and held so high,
but my heart longs for fiery blood,
wide-open eyes and Love, true Love,
not courtships played to gain the hand
of the Princess with the tracts of land.
for Love that fountains from my soul
for the heart of a girl who’s honest, whole;
someone to Love me and someone to share
all of my fears with; someone to care.
for I am no better than any man.
a Prince or a Pauper, the same we stand
in God’s eyes you’re worthy or not,
it doesn’t matter, the gold you’ve got.
Love is life’s most precious thing,
even for me…
…the Prince of Spring!
for I am the Prince of Spring.
for I am the Prince of Spring.
for I am the Prince of Spring.

Simple Things

Posted: May 28, 1993 in Poetry
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so we’re not seeing eye to eye
I think I’ll go splash around in the tide.
you are so beautiful when you’re upset,
it always comes to me as a surprise.

I’ll watch your face turn red and green
and I will listen to what you’re screaming
and when you’re done crying and bitching,
I’ll take you to get ice cream.

such simple things will let you smile.
such simple things will let you smile.

such simple things like poking your stomach
and when I dance and sing you songs.
when you get free coffee at Roma
sometimes you forget what’s wrong.

(chorus)

so quit your sour-face nonsense;
the sunshine rains down like leaves from the trees.
let’s go sit on the grass like mushrooms
and smell the flowers like bees.

(accordian solo)

these silly things just make you madder
when you’re in a crappy mood.
but all it takes is a little persuasion:
you can’t help but lose your blues.

(chorus)

Las Vegas

Posted: May 18, 1993 in Poetry
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one
all these slot machines are screaming at me,
hurling forth these awful noises
like upright pinball machines amplified
and winking with infernally fueled lights,
glowering metal goblins hunkered in military rows.
zombies run them, magnetized to the pull-bars.
coin after coin after coin fed like morsels
to squat and greedy quadripalegics
to be digested in square stomachs,
vomited occasionally into aluminum bins designed
to deluge the immediate area with tinny sound.
the only chairs in Vegas are the stools in front of slots,
the seats around the tables and the high chairs at the bars.
there they go – horrible shrieks and sirens,
running dark-suited security guards
and the beaming house manager congratulating, congratulating
someone lucky enough to give a slot the shits.
night and day rows of rolling eyes and gaping mouths,
so many tiki idols to pray to with offerings of silver.
miracles, healings, wishes granted often enough to other people
to make you believe. over your shoulder,
someone with a wheelbarrow of quarters
is smiling smugly before she’s taxed,
so you turn to your personalized priest
and confess, confess, confess;
give your money to the Church of Las Vegas.

two
you are nothing without neon stripes
surrounded with millions of scarecrow lightbulbs.
it’s a neighborhood gone gaga with Christmas lights;
the competition is too apparent, so flashy –
each hotel, forty floors of cement and steel supermodel,
the strip a catwalk for these gaudy flamingos
belching forth the illusions of winners,
fireworking electrical energy through millions of neon lacerations,
igniting the sky with an unnatural aurora.
each casino like a sick-to-its-stomach smiling Buddha,
pulling people in through its gilded belly-button
to explore the convolutions of intestines packed
with other gaping gamblers praying and dazed,
being digested in the bowels of Las Vegas.
the streets are the most wholesome places of normalcy;
there the garbage isn’t hidden, or snatched up
by a look-quickly-both-ways costumed employee
with a silver handled scooper and a platinum broom,
a golden smile tacked on like a nametag –
part of the uniform – in the streets
the honking of cars is sanity;
the people who live from their shopping carts are sane
because they have no money to spend.
these streets are thronged every night,
poverty illuminated by the neon lights.

Cutting Away Again

Posted: May 17, 1993 in Poetry
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why does my life
suck so bad?
why do I always
whine like this?
why don’t all you fuckheads
leave me alone,
give me some room
to experiment?
I don’t give a shit;
you’re so concerned
with what I need;
so you know
and I don’t,
well that’s wrong!
I know what I am
at any given time.
it is my life
and if I don’t like it
it is my right not to give a damn.
get off my back.
get off my back.
get off of my back.
get off.
get off.
go away and be sad and confused
that there’s no communication,
that there’s no understanding
me. fuck!

For Jamie

Posted: May 16, 1993 in Poetry
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I still dream of the way
your long brown hair
fell over my face
in the wind in the park
as we played with the camera
and rolled on the grass
down the hills by the Mission
in a blanket of stars.

Untitled Poem #163

Posted: May 15, 1993 in Poetry
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when the dew-drops poise
on blades of grass I like to
wait until they fall
before I kiss your smooth brow
when I must wake you from sleep.

Migraines That I Don’t Have

Posted: May 15, 1993 in Poetry
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you know I hate to leave you
when there’s that buzzing in your ears
that means your headache’s bad
even more than otherwise
because so miserable
and so fragile, in pain,
you look more like an Angel,
saddened by the world’s tears.

Impression of Las Vegas

Posted: May 15, 1993 in Poetry
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I couldn’t help myself –
I had to stare at all the older people
in Las Vegas. They’re all
motorized, putting coins in slots,
sometimes playing two or three at once
and even when they win
their expressions don’t change.
I saw a man win $5000 in
silver dollars and
he just seemed annoyed that
he couldn’t play it while it
poured out his money.

Ode to Bukowski #1

Posted: May 14, 1993 in Poetry
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Bukowski, you’re wonderful,
feeding me and my generation the lines
full of whores and liquor and laziness
with a purpose:
horse racing and post office jobs;
you’re telling me to buy the fifth
I already bought and drank
and puked and drank some more
over this ode.
this fucked up pattern on my cheap futon
won’t leave me alone, an eyestrain.
and I wish I had lived my seventy years out
drinking, smoking, fucking and writing
before this particular decade
when I’ll die from boredom.

Painted Cave Creekbed

Posted: May 13, 1993 in Poetry
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with all those spring rains
the Painted Cave creekbed
is full of raw boulders being softened
by green children with
still, poised fingers like
ricocheting fireworks.

I poke my head under huge stones
into spaces like lion’s jaws
to the screeching of irritated scrub jays.

A Flood

Posted: May 13, 1993 in Poetry
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I flood each time
I hear you or watch
you move sinuously
just to get a book to read
or to reach your coffee mug.
then I run like ink
in a rainstorm.
a note, a poem of you
streaming off the edge
of the page, a snake
dropping from the countertop,
pools on the floor
while I tongue-tied
try to point out your wet feet.

Dowsing

Posted: May 13, 1993 in Poetry
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One man walked through a cracked, dry land
dowsing for the cairn of a woman.
his spirits circled him like many wrestlers,
fanning the wind into slight eddies,
stirring the dust raised by each cautious footstep.
one man seen alone with a forked stick
walking away from a dirt-streaked car,
a door hanging open like a promise to return
to the thin blacktop stretching to the clouds
massed like an audience in the west.
his footfalls were distant thunder provoking blue-grey lizards
to quick movements; they reminded him of her bracelets.
the parched earth rose to cling to his jeans.
black spots in the sky materialized into vultures,
cocking steely eyes past hooked beaks;
he could not meet their gaze.
he gripped his stick like a motorcycle’s handlebars
and drove through the desert searching, searching

Too Many Puppies

Posted: May 13, 1993 in Poetry
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there’s too many puppies and not enough drugs.
to give thanks to the Lord and those Primus thugs.
yo, I walk into Vons, drink the eight in the john,
slap five to the posse, see what’s going on.
my man Geoff Stearns got the afro from hell
and we’re bringin’ more juice to your show and tell.
sometimes I’m saying somethin’ sometimes nothin’ at all
but I walk around the room clockin’ girls on the wall.
you say you got a problem let the posse take care of it.
you talkin’ some shit? I put some rise in yo lip.
I wax you and milk you like my name was Ad Rock
but I know you like my style, boy, I am nothin’ to mock, yeah.

get off of my tip so I can hit off the gree
I’m supplied by Son of Chonbo, you can say Mr. Bean.
I get a likkle sauced and I call you funny names
but my fist and my foot prevents any silly games.
my boy Alex Kohrt with the VW bus
plays git like a fit and gives you somethin’ to cuss.
call him Galstephus, he casts the charm on the women,
getcha back to the crib there’ll be Cheeze Whiz™ and sinnin’.
and when I stop talking you beggin’ Michael oh please!
because I got more incentive than UC got fees,
I’ve got more jingle than the janitor’s keys
and on my jock, I’ve got too many puppies, yeah.

some say I’m self-destructive ‘cause I cut on my wrists
but you’d grub the X-acto if you knew what I missed.
so I grab the microphone and I give it my all
and with mortar and trowel I put my Brick in the Wall.
then I grab a little sample from the music I groove
and with the bass in your face I make your ass move.
I give it up to my friends ‘cause they know who they are
and you’ll find me drinking heavy cold slumped at the bar, y’all.

I
say hey! whoo-hah! I move I groove I bump;
got the MH posse in the house to make you jump up
and move…you dance and clap your hands
Chris tell it like it is and be a good man.

II
I don’t get in your face to twist and shout now.
like Chuck D sez, the brothers gonna work it out.
be kind to yourself and the people you meet,
don’t stand on the wall dance on your own two feet.

III
of course MZ puts the whizz in your cheese
I put my butt in your face and the wind in the trees.
Godzilla’s in the place and he’s doing the stomp
so ladies let me see you shake your rumps.
I spray upon the mike ‘cause Alex got my back up.
waxin’ and milkin’? I’ll duck and he’ll smack ya.
my feet swing freely on the plane of funk,
I got a green Monte Carlo and there’s room in the trunk.
it’s all about being true to you and me,
we’re not Naughty by Nature, this ain’t OPP.
give it up, ya pup, in front on the side
while my drummer Gino breaks out on the ride.
funky bass supplied inside by Mike Neuman;
King Ghidra’s horns for ya good men.
Tear the roof off the sucker with the MZ sound
for your health and your wealth I’m gonna break it down.

IV
I slap the rap to your cap ‘cause it’s finger lickin’.
I got more spice than the Colonel’s chicken.
good cheer and a beer makes me have no fear
like a baby being born I’m fresh and we’re out of here!

Shoebox

Posted: May 8, 1993 in Poetry
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I have it all tucked away in a shoebox
for casual reminiscing
when this is all over.
Bury it with me like food for the afterlife.

I
this poetry, on this midnight
runs through my veins:
all this hurting, my purple pen
is my blood,
each word a corpuscle –
and to let it out to the world,
sometimes my poetry is simple:
blood,
cut from my flesh,
bleeding my emotions free.
Self destructive
so that I can leave the world
with impressions of fire and intensity,
of feeling.
This is how I feel.
And a poet is a job of living,
breathing, suffering, sacrificing
money home security comfort
for the fleeting knowledge that I am writing.

II
I am smoking: I will die quicker.
I am drinking: I will die quicker.
But I am leaving what I have,
these words
the blood of my existence.
The blink of an eye
and the full moon is gone
waxing, waning:
soon so will I, another man
will die and fade into obscurity,
but these ideas, thoughts, memories
will not disappear quite as quickly,
eroded into paper or computer.
Crickets die – they begat children
to carry on their simple song;
this is human responsibility.
Treat this as information
of a life.
Swallow it whole or in pieces,
pass it along;
someone will find it useful:
the memories of me,
who and where I am right now.

Zambone Machine

Posted: May 6, 1993 in Poetry
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why do my dreams lay siege to me
as if I was a fortress of stone,
a dragon unconcerned with men’s matters,
a river who just picks up the bones
of foolish dreams who jump the chasm
and fall to drown in icy water,
for I move the other cliffside at will
at each new attempt I aim to kill
my aspirations if they’re too upsetting,
if they’ll move me into uncertainty:
the Zambone machine, I clear the ice
and sometimes the results are not so nice.