Posts Tagged ‘Cheeze Whiz’

Too Many Puppies

Posted: May 13, 1993 in Poetry
Tags: , , , , ,

there’s too many puppies and not enough drugs.
to give thanks to the Lord and those Primus thugs.
yo, I walk into Vons, drink the eight in the john,
slap five to the posse, see what’s going on.
my man Geoff Stearns got the afro from hell
and we’re bringin’ more juice to your show and tell.
sometimes I’m saying somethin’ sometimes nothin’ at all
but I walk around the room clockin’ girls on the wall.
you say you got a problem let the posse take care of it.
you talkin’ some shit? I put some rise in yo lip.
I wax you and milk you like my name was Ad Rock
but I know you like my style, boy, I am nothin’ to mock, yeah.

get off of my tip so I can hit off the gree
I’m supplied by Son of Chonbo, you can say Mr. Bean.
I get a likkle sauced and I call you funny names
but my fist and my foot prevents any silly games.
my boy Alex Kohrt with the VW bus
plays git like a fit and gives you somethin’ to cuss.
call him Galstephus, he casts the charm on the women,
getcha back to the crib there’ll be Cheeze Whiz™ and sinnin’.
and when I stop talking you beggin’ Michael oh please!
because I got more incentive than UC got fees,
I’ve got more jingle than the janitor’s keys
and on my jock, I’ve got too many puppies, yeah.

some say I’m self-destructive ‘cause I cut on my wrists
but you’d grub the X-acto if you knew what I missed.
so I grab the microphone and I give it my all
and with mortar and trowel I put my Brick in the Wall.
then I grab a little sample from the music I groove
and with the bass in your face I make your ass move.
I give it up to my friends ‘cause they know who they are
and you’ll find me drinking heavy cold slumped at the bar, y’all.

say hey! whoo-hah! I move I groove I bump;
got the MH posse in the house to make you jump up
and move…you dance and clap your hands
Chris tell it like it is and be a good man.

I don’t get in your face to twist and shout now.
like Chuck D sez, the brothers gonna work it out.
be kind to yourself and the people you meet,
don’t stand on the wall dance on your own two feet.

of course MZ puts the whizz in your cheese
I put my butt in your face and the wind in the trees.
Godzilla’s in the place and he’s doing the stomp
so ladies let me see you shake your rumps.
I spray upon the mike ‘cause Alex got my back up.
waxin’ and milkin’? I’ll duck and he’ll smack ya.
my feet swing freely on the plane of funk,
I got a green Monte Carlo and there’s room in the trunk.
it’s all about being true to you and me,
we’re not Naughty by Nature, this ain’t OPP.
give it up, ya pup, in front on the side
while my drummer Gino breaks out on the ride.
funky bass supplied inside by Mike Neuman;
King Ghidra’s horns for ya good men.
Tear the roof off the sucker with the MZ sound
for your health and your wealth I’m gonna break it down.

I slap the rap to your cap ‘cause it’s finger lickin’.
I got more spice than the Colonel’s chicken.
good cheer and a beer makes me have no fear
like a baby being born I’m fresh and we’re out of here!

I said Cheeze Whiz! I said Cheeze Whiz!
ta gitchya bang in yo booty’s my bizness.
Chris catchaya lyrics, cold funk mah rhyme
‘cause all we here to do is just boogie yo behind.
get down…so whatcha gonna do
when the funkee fresh hottie’s cold clockin’ you
she’s fly, treat her right to tha wine and cheese
but lookin’ inna fridge just makes ya freeze:
no cheddar no gouda no Kraft no jack,
no swiss no sharp no time ta head out back
to tha store…ya know what time it is!
what time is it, baby? Bust tha Cheeze Whiz!
got tha can in my hand from the edge of doom,
now you’re back in tha bedroom cold bustin’ tha boom,
the door flies open, who could it be?
it’s my dad and he’s gonna ask me:
“You gots mah Cheeze Whiz, boy?”
-sample courtesy of the Blues Brothers.

[written for Monster Zero]