Goodbye, Laura

Posted: December 14, 1993 in Poetry
Tags: , , ,

I felt like this:
We were driving
at the high speeds of bliss
when we both forgot
to watch where we were going.
When I finally came to my senses,
I found I couldn’t steer without you helping;
you were transfixed
by a comet;
something outside the car window
that I couldn’t pay attention to.
I was asking, then pleading, then screaming,
then begging for your help
to bring the helm around
and you hesitated so long,
it was too late.

The vehicle fell apart around us
and you were desperately oblivious,
terribly hesitant;
an agnostic at the gates of heaven
holding up the line.
We took out several innocent bystanders
after we tumbled end over end.
The agony of defeat.

And I climbed out of the wreckage first,
while you were still looking for the comet.
The hero that I thought I was being,
I went back in to save you,
two, three, four – countless times.
I offered to help you,
with your mangled heart pinned under the ruins
of our relationship, our friendship,
and your hesitancy horrified me again
and again.
I tried for every reason I could think of;
I tried after it became a destructive, dangerous habit,
sacrificing myself to lend you a hand.

But you’re still hesitant and uncomprehending,
wavering, vacillating like a sine wave,
and I have another ride to catch.
I never saw what you saw in the scenery around here,
or if I did, it wasn’t a comet.
I’m walking away from you and the wreck,
trying to stop the shivers of bitterness,
trying to forgive.

I’ve thumbed another ride on the turnpike,
and she was bothered that I kept looking back
to see if you’d come to a decision.
That’s far behind me now;
I don’t look back,
but I wouldn’t mind a letter when you’re out and OK.

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