if I was a cat
I’ve chased a mouse of yours
chewed it and played
to your chagrin.
dragons care so little –
true dragons, not gold-hungry worms
– that they’re made from clouds
and always fly.
an orange lightbulb transforms
a room into a Wonderland;
I made a game of room chess
of all my memories of you.
I just tell the time around here.
the hardest things I ever do
hurt like the break
of billiard balls
in my ears.
like telling you
that I hate you
when really I mean
I love you
when really I mean
I can’t let you in,
not right now
when really I mean
that I’m going to collapse
in confusion.
I want you so badly that
I can’t have you so badly.
