why do I have to walk around
with the anvil of potential suicide
balanced on my head?
some people ask themselves
why aren’t I normal? or
why aren’t I like the rest of them?
well, this is not normal.
the human being would not have evolved
as far as it has if it had a normal drive to suicide.
I honestly think about it most all of the time
and once in a while
it is more than a shadow;
isometimes the whole damn monster
comes out of the closet
and crouches, towering over me, whispering
about the unseen benefits of suicide.
how many years will I stick around,
waiting for things to get “better”,
always listening with half an ear
to the crack of the closet door?
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